Notes in Forks
by myspace.girl
Summary: i don't own twilight. rated k for coarse language. possibly hard to understand --coughchapterthreecough--
1. hairy mammas

A/N _**i don't own twilight or the carachters. i dont own Edward's volvo or the stores mentioned. I absolutely don't own Mamma Mia no matter how much i want to. this is supposed to be dumb-funny. not well written. please PM ideas to me s.v.p! whoever can figure out the Broadway productions i mention will get credit in my nexty chapter...yeah!**_

_Emmett, _Bella, **Edward, **Alice, _, **special guest**_ the volvo.

_Mama mia , here I go again , my my how could I resist ya! Yes, I've been brokenhearted_

_Blue since the day we parted_

_Why, why did I ever let you go?_

_Mamma mia, now I really know,_

_My my, I could never let you go.!_

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ALL DOING HERE? WELL, I'd love to stop and chat, but I have to go and clean out my hand bag...or something!

**Age does not wither her!**

**I was expecting more of a fair treatment.**

**Oh shes still Donna!**

: UUUMMMM, why are you guys singing Mamma Mia? Are you seriously THAT excited for the movie?

Yes

_duh_

**pahchah...yes**

okay, me too...

_Guess what, you guys?_

What?

**Seriously?**

WHAT?

Ohmigawd? Are you for real emmett cullen? 

WHAT? Emmett just tell me!

_Im playing HARRY in the movie!_

OHMIGAWD! Do I got to go to the premier??

So help me, god, I will tell Jacob to follow you to the Hollywood premier if im not invited! Yeah, I went there!

**Wow, fistey, I love it. Its hawt. **

Yeah...okay then. ...have fun in hollywood. Without us...:( 

WHAT??

Relax! I was kidding, we are ALL going... Bella, you are going to need a whole new outfit for HOLLYWOOD! I'm SO exited! Now, should we go with the whole, innocence thing, or should we go all Dilana Robichaux meets Storm Large on their behinds?

Alice. Not only do I have ALL of the Pack on speed dial, but I recently came across Buffy Summers' number and added her to it as well for emergencies like this. Do not force me and do not push me.

**FINALLY, my girlfriend shows her dark side! I love it. **

_**Oh. She's all ready**__**shown ME her darkside, Cullen...**_

_What the juice is NEWTON of all people doing in your Volvo, Eddeesito?_

_**I broke into your trunk during lunch and hid until this ride. Bella. I Have guts. Want me need me...**_

**Newton. If you don't get out of this car, I will give alice free reign at Mr. Pinky's Hefty Hideaway. She knows those producers Mike. Also I will let Rosalie and Bella hogtie you down to a chair until alice comes back. That;s Right. Now jump out that window ,RIGHT NOW**

_**fine, but ill send you the bill**__**for the surgery . Hope your Dad enjoys my little story. Muahhahahahahahaha!**_

a/n _**i hope you laughed. randr plz. be brutal and tell me if my jokes are too overkill. thx, Jenny.**_


	2. squirrels and plaid vans

OMG. Bella **, edward,**_alice,_ emmett , _**jasper.**_

OMG.

**What is it Bella?**

I think I'm going to cry

_oh goodness, how could that have happened?_

WHAT?

_**Why so sad Bella?**_

She's gone? How could he?

**Bella, love, it IS kind of funny.**

**What?**

Zoey! Shes gone!

_**But shes not real? **_

But what happened?

_Zoey, she got killed. BY CHASE!_

How?

**He totally squashed her. With a plaid van.**

_**He thought she was a squirral.**_

OMG! HOW COULD THIS HAVE HAPPENED?

_That was the blckest form of blasphemy! _

_**A squirrel ...**_

**LONG LIVE CHASE MATTHEWS !! **

What? You didn't LIKE ZOEY? All this time you have been stringing me along! Alice? I think THIS is the blackest form of blasphemy! Next thing you know, he's going to say, that Holly Tyler should have squished GARY with a plaid van, thinking he was a squirrel, or PETE WENTZ SHOULD have killed Mrs. Clause.

_**Maybe he thought she was a squirrel.**_

**You know what, BELLA? Right after that episode, Mrs Clause won an all expense paid trip to VOLTERRA! **

LIES!

Ooooh! Its getting hot and spicy up in this paper! Mamma Mia!

_**Teehee, hot and spicy squirrels. That would be good.**_

_You know what? Screw this conversation. Im outee. _

Me too. This is getting way to BELLA AND EDWARD for me.

**Lets try and work this out, Bells. I love you. So much.**

To your bedroom!

**Lets go!**

_**Squirrels.**_

Dude what the hell is with you and freaking squirrels?

**Um, thats a whole other topic, so unless you want to be stuck here for another hour we should go.**

Okay. Were out, bye Jazz Hands.

_**I wonder if squirrels can do jazz hands? Or would it be Jazz Paws? Maybe Carlisle would know. **_


	3. Rubber Ducks and Random Languages

Bella, **edward,**_alice,_emmett.

Heard the bad news, girls

**BAD? It's a disaster!**

Well if there's anything I can help you with, tell me. 

**Actually, there is. We want to try out for the boy's team. **

Uh, anything but that. 

**Come on, coach! You know we're good enough**

I don't know that that's a thing I know 

What's up coach?

The girls here want to try out for the boys team 

_what the heck? Why are you quoting She's the Man?_

Is that what we were doing?

**Yes love, thats what we were doing. I thought you knew.**

Know, thats just the first thing that came to mind.

_I'm bored. Im gone. Wait, bella, did you hear?_

What?

_Hanna Montana just got severely injured._

Yeah, by a rubber duckie launcher, it was all Olivers fault.

**Rest in peace, Hannah Montana.**

_Edward, she's not dead._

**Well, oh well. You have crab grass.**

...hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, alice, you make me laugh. I was just waiting for that to happen. Im so excited. Desean los patos de goma vivos. ( long live rubber ducks)

**¿usted habla bella español?( Bella, you speak spanish?)**

las habilidades caseras absolutamente bien, a propósito, satisfacen por favor satisfacen por favor me cambian. ¡después de esto, deja sueco de discurso del comienzo! ¡Sí! (quite well home skills, by the way , please please please please change me. after this , lets start speaking Swedish! Yeah! )

**Bella min förälskelse. jag ska inte ändring dig, i formar any långt eller bildar. Alice som ska dig och Emmett, BEHAR instämm i något språk?**

**(Bella, my love. i will not change you, in any way shape, or form. Alice, will you and Emmett, PLEASE agree in any language?)**

_Nr., edwardo! ich werde nicht! ich WÜNSCHE BELLA ein Vampire sein. dann könnten wir gelegentliche Sprachen so total sprechen ( no, edwardo! i will not! i WANT BELLA to be a vampire. then we could totally speak random languages like this)_

ja, zou het zodat pret zijn om fianally aan prank Bella te kunnen en een reactie te worden uit haar omdat zij mogelijk (MISSCHIEN) om me te kwetsen kon. bondage van de broerzuster huisvaardigheden. zonder twijfel

_(yeah, it would be so fun to fianally be able to prank Bella and get a reaction out of her because she could possible ( POSSIBLY ) hurt me. brother sister bondage home skills. for sure)_

ringraziamenti voi tipi. ti amo come la famiglia. (thanks you guys. i love you like family.)

the end.


End file.
